I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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Yo mama is so poor I saw her kicking a can down the street and asked her what she was doing? Her reply was: Kicking a can down the street. What did you think she was doing? Moving?

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

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How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

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1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

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Why did steve cry? Because he got punched.

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fish:)

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side -Tag

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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Why did Sally drop her Ice Cream Cone? Because her dog licked her butthole.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock, whos there? Not sally

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What is the difference between an anti-joke and a joke? The word anti before anti-joke.

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot!

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why can't Michael Jackson bake a pie???? Because he's dead

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what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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Why did the really unfunny man buy AntiJoke The Book??? It was a good deal and only $9.99.

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Why can't Benitio Mussolini win the war? Becuase he's dead.

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Who comes up with terrible jokes and then mentions the name of the person they are talking about like a bitch? Both of us, Dylan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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