Iceland is actually green and Greenland is actually icy and Germany started the Holocaust.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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What did the raped girl say to the doctor? Nothing she was dead on arrival.

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*prepares this to get negative votes*

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Not your cheese.

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Friends are like lettuce; If you eat their head, they die

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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why couldn't jonny ride on a swing? he had no arms or legs why didn't jonny have any arms or legs? he's a potato!

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

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yo mama soooooooooooo fat that she should be concerned of the incressed risk of dibties

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What's worse than dropping an ice-cream cone? A dead baby. What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than two dead babies? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping two ice-cream cones.

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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Fat? Jesse Z

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What's scarier than the most horrifying monster you can think of? The thought of Donald Trump becoming president!

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A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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knock,knock you suck

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, how high are you? Very.

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what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

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What do you get when you cross a man, with Alzheimers disease?

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whats up and also down? your mum

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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