- Anti Joke

Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

What do you call a Mexican in a suit? Another Drug lord What do you call a black guy in a suit? Guilty. What do you call a white guy in a suit? The black guys lawyer What do you call a woman in a suit? You don't call her anything as you wonder why she isnt in the kitchen. What do you call a women outside a kitchen? Useless. -Jordan.M

What did the Chinese man do with the sick dog he found in the alleyway? He took it to the vet, nursed it back to health, and later helped the dog get adopted by a nice family down the street.

What happens when you give a Jew an iPhone? He says thank you and gives you a hug.

Balboa. Watch as Apollo Creed`s nephews son is trained by Rocky Balboa`s grandson`s neighbor to participate in the new highschool musical will they win this years golden plate? Spoiler: No they did well but lost to Clubber Lang`s and Ivan Drago`s gay sons adopted lovechild`s ballet number. But people kept cheering "BALBOA BALBOA BALBOA!" As Rocky Balboa`s grandson kept yelling "ADRIAAN, ADRIAAAAAAN!" while a picture of Rocky`s grandchild is shown in the background together with the American flag. Moral: This script may or might not have been made for a quick cash in, anyway, its coming out the next radioactive winter 2705.

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

why was the kid crying? because he had to go to school GDS*

Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

Why can't a T-Rex masturbate? Because dinosaurs have been extinct nearly 65 million years, due to an asteroid collision with the Earth

Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his failing marriage.

What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

Yo mama is so fat she has a gym membership and a diet plan to lose weight

What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

The doctor walks in Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

Susie fell of a swing and died Knock Knock Who's there Susie

Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

What looks like a duck, smells like a duck and feels like a duck? A duck.

Henry was struck by a train. He was mourned by his parents.

Who told the gorilla he couldn't go to the ballet? The people who were in charge of making that decision.

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What happened when the car hit the man? He died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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