What's the same between a bike and a duck? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

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A Muslim man walks away from a populated area leaving his briefcase behind. After a few minutes he returns because he forgot his briefcase.

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Do you know what's annoying? Steve

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Knock knock? Who's There? I AMMM!!! (thumb this down please xD)

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Once upon a time Jimmy was walking home from school. Jimmy was then confronted by a a pedophile so he suddenly ate himself.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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let me tell u a dirty joke a guy fell in the mud.

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A guy named M.C. walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "wheres the food?" The bartender says, " its in your stomach."

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Why did Timmy fall off his swing? The Holocaust

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snowglobe

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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Q: why are black people good at basketball A: god you racist bastard

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Every week or so Chuck Norris does his laundry.

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What do you call a dead child? The product of a car crash

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? a terrorist dropped a bomb on him which turned into a transformer, raped him and then burried him inside of his refridgerator

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"CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!" -Spongebob

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What do you call a Fat man? You call him by His name because that's the polite thing to do.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms or lags get for christmas? A: He dosent now he cant open them.

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A blonde, a red head, and a brunette are on an island. Due to the law of averages, this isn't that unlikely or significant.

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Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house she is likely to be there for some time.

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What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it? Nothing, scientific research has shown over thousands of years that grapes cannot talk.

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What is funny about a cod swimming around alone in the ocean? Nothing, over-fishing is a huge problem in the modern day.

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? It got hit by a stone. Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by the first Koala. Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game. Why did the Kangaroo die? It was hit by three falling Koalas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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