how do you get a scouters power level to 9,000? power levels dont exist in real life therefore cannot reach 9,000

when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because blind people aren't allowed to drive in the United States.

Teacher: which vegetable makes your eyes water? Student: Any vegetable. Teacher: How? Student: Just rub any vegetable in your eyes and see what happens.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about the vampires?

What did the Big Chimney say to the Little Chimney? Nothing, chimneys are unable to talk.

What should you say when someone says a bad joke? I'm sorry, your joke cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up and don't try again.

Women's Rights

Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

one of the idiot

your goin down...aint no tomorrow...wha bang bang

What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

One day a man named Tyler put a picture of an Asian in his wallet and proceeded to call himself Asian even though he was of Caucasian. Then a theif pick pocketed his wallet and was confused.

What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

A black man and a white woman walk into a bar and celebrate their interracial marriage anniversary over a couple of drinks and then call a cab to avoid driving while intoxicated

How do you starve a black man? You deny his foodstamps ~Katie&Lena&Shelbey(:

Why do blonde girls like penis? Because it tastes good

Roses are red violets are blue I have herpees.

knock knock. who's there? just open. just open who? you're really dumb aren't you

I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

Why can't white kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get soap in their mouths Why can't black kids say the "F" word? Because they'll get a beating until their butts turn black and blue and they'll start crying in pain

What would Abraham Lincoln do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the lid of his coffin.

Why did the chicken cross the road? How am I supposed to know?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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