Have you tried Ethiopian food? -no -well it's really good

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If you play The Binding of Isaac backwards, it's about a boy who summons Satan in hell and ascends multiple floors and eventually revives him mom by sucking in tears. He eventually becomes less of a monster until going back to his home and living hapily with his mother, completely forgetting anything had ever happened.

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Q. What happened to the man that kept an open hand? A. He is in jail because he beat his family

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A man walks into a bar. It was his push-up bar that he didn't install high enough. He bumps his head and it hurts.

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

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whats green and has wheels grass and i lied about the wheels

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Q: If 2+2=Fish, then what does 3+3=? A: 6.

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How many orangoutangs does it take to screw in a light bulb? 16; mongoloid

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Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

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Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

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What's worse then spilling milk? Instantaneous Human Combustion

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Why do ducks have flat feet? To stomp out forest fires Why do elephants have flat feet? To stomp out flaming ducks

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why was the clown sad? because his wife left him

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you get the shitty coconut ones.

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What's the difference between car keys and truck keys? Literally nothing.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

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why did the kids pull the fire alarm? because there was a fire.

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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A woman says Renae has a butt... Two men say we don't care we have her hammer. True story.

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Why couldn't the young african american read? He was born blind

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: my red painted d*ck

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COME HERE, POTTER!!!! NOW!!! Instead of agreeing to approach the source of the rather hostile summoning, Potter decided to sit down and eat a healthy vegetarian lunch of sausages and chips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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