What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow". Tragic.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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Jesus walks into a bar, the bartender shoot the zombie

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Thanks I guess, I do look a lot like that anime, except my eyes are not giant and I got lips and you know about everything else is different, besides I wear blue or brown contact lenses Ohh, and in case you had not already noticed, I dye my hair brown, believe me, there is enough red in me to go around already... Nero huh? Angelo Nero? So what kind of sick parents did you really have, or do you have? This is weird, you suddenly got even more interesting Nero.

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Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

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Whats better than sex? Not dying. Ha

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What can I say, besides, the media is fighting one another now, people do have more freedom, religion is losing the grip on people, and yeah the world may be a bit grim right now, but people have chosen their own direction in life, and that is going wherever the most corrupt ones in society tell them to. And that was never different, I am not saying that you are not doing a good job, I am saying that the underground society failed, we where idealists, then we where branded criminals, without a shred of proof, I have not lost myself, and you have not lost you, why save the rest from what they enjoy?

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What do you get when you cross a muffin with chocolate chips? A chocolate chip muffin.

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do you listen to dubstep? OH YEA I LOVE SKRILLEX -_-

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its not for us to determine its motive, i'm sure it has its reasons

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, Some don't.

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What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting a handjob from Edward scissor hands

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Once upon a time there was a pure and beautiful girl who lived with her step-mother and her two step-sisters. They made her live in the basement and had her do all the chores while they went to parties. Then social workers came and relocated her to a foster family.

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A horse walks into a bar Barman: Why the long face? Horse: just had a stroke

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What did the senator do after he typed he email? He clicked the send button.

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why are black people good at sports? because i f***ed your mom

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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#Hanging Degus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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