Why is a cat in the desert like Christmas? Because Egypt is a country of deserts, the Egyptians had cats and Jesus, Mary and Joseph escaped to Egypt in the Christmas story before Herod carried out his massacre in Bethlehem on baby boys of under two years old.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If a hen lays an egg in the middle of a roof, which way would it fall? To the east, as there was a brisk wind in that direction.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A guy walks into a bar. He goes to the hospital with a severe head injury and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the man go to prison? he was a serial rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a low-fat banana? A nothing...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? Its funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small. Also dinosaurs can't even talk!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many Bedouins do you need to change a light bulb? 2, one is changing the bulb and the second is powering the generator.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did a black man enter a KFC? Because he had been in town a while and had grown hungry over the period of walking around, and decided he should get some food to satisfy his hunger so he may continue his journey around town. The fact he entered KFC is purely coincidental, as he could've easily decided to go to a different eatery, but it just so happens that the closest one was a KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you say to a rock? Meow

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man visits an anti joke site looking for some humor. realizing that its not funny, he closes the window.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Guy: do u wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah its to long Girl: Do u wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Actually that would make me very self concious I have ghonorrea and would appreciate not having to tell one.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call flashlight in an Asian kids room what ever the brand is

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the boy with asthma say to his friend I can't breath

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a depressed alcoholic drug addict whose children had all been diagnosed with a rare form of terminal brain cancer, and he decided to end it then and there by jumping in front of an approaching bus.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what did the cerial killer get for christmas an electric chair

thumb_up thumb_down -7

a chicken crosses the street to ask a man: what is an anti-joke? the man replies: a joke the chicken responds: so why do they call it an ANTI-joke? the man answers: why did the horse walk into a bar? the chicken retorts: you can't answer a question with a question! the man replies: you're a figment of my imagination, nah nah nah nah i can't hear you.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what dyu call a jew on the moon? a problem. what dyu call ten jews on the moon? a bigger problem. what dyu call all the jews on the moon? problem solved.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What do you call four black guys hanging in a barn? A: Farm tools

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops