A mans wife gets pregnant after he has a visectomy... She was artificially inseminated using sperm he froze before the operation

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How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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1: Knock knock. 2: Who's there? 1: Boo. 2: Please do come on in Boo, its so lovely to see you!

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What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

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He who laughs last...is not a laughing owl because they're extinct.

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Why was the man struck by lightning? Josh Mathai was there.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a serial killer.

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Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Your momma's so fat: She regrets not making the most of her youth whilst she was still attractive.

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your asshole.

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Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it got out of its cage, was running away from its owner, and crossing a busy street seemed like the most effective way to gain freedom.

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What's funnier than 1 anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

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An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

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If a quiz is quizzical, what's a testicle?

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A fridge

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Q.How do you kill a Zombie? A. You can't Zombies are fictional monsters that do not exist in our reality. instead why not focus on killing other things such as, Terrorists, Ants and People who piss you off

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Why did the kid hide under the table? There was an earthquake.

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Man: Did It Hurt Woman: Did what hurt? Man: When your legs were crushed after being run over by that semi

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there are many theories as to why the aforementioned chicken crossed the aforementioned road. The most plausible is that the chicken was wandering around, when it came upon a road. Being a chicken, it did not know the dangers of crossing it, and proceeded to.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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