why did the chicken cross the road? I never got to ask it got hit by a car.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven liked to eat numbers lower than itself.

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What if your name was Mr. David and the office called you down and you were wearing a dress?

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Why was rebecca crying? Because her mum had just died in a house fire!!!

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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Q- Why? A- Why not?

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Knock knock. Who's there? Obama. Obama who? Barack Obama, President of the United States. I was wondering if I could borrow a cup of sugar. I'm baking cookies for my family, because they really like my cookies.

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Person 1: "Broo my dicks like 19 inches!" Person 2: "Thas not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you."

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what's white, sits around all day, and sucks on tits? a baby.

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sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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If John had 4 apples and gave 2 to Mary, what is the circumference of the sun?

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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there once was a black man who played basketball

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she couldn't afford one.

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They say Jesus Christ walked on water and that humans are made up of 70% water...... So if I walk on babies, am I 70% Jesus?

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there was this kid who was perfectly well-adjusted, had most normal things a person needs and a generally good life. what did he get for Christmas. non-hodgkins lymphoma.

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what's the worst way to fall asleep? sad. it makes you lose sleep.

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What do you call someone that has befriended a fisherman? Fishermans friend Moral: Strongest there is.

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Your mum's so fat, she should probably consult her local GP to insure she doesn't die of a cardiac arrest.

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why did nick leave school? bECAUSE HE WAS RETARDED

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What do you call 1 + 1 = 2? i like boobs

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Why did an asian lawyer commit suicide? Because his wife left him and he hated his miserable life.

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Why was the youtube like bar green? Because the graphics designer felt like making it green. =.=

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops