whats funnier than 24? 25

What starts with P and ends with ORN? Popcorn! What starts with F and ends with UCK? Firetruck! What starts with S and ends with EX? Spandex!

What color is the grass on Bob's lawn? Bob lives in a apartment.

Last night I had a lovely chicken burger I had no mayo left so had to make do with coleslaw but enjoyed it anyway.

What do you call a man who has a camera? a cameraman

I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

How do you make seven an even number? You don't, it's impossible.

A man walks into a bar. He is a diabetic and promptly goes into a coma after drinking.

What's a boulder's favorite type of music? Boulders don't have ears.

What did the flower say to the flowerpot? Nice weather we're having

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being disturbed by two black guys raping a young girl with leukemia

How do you make an anti-joke offensive? Add racism to it.

why did the other chicken cross the road peer pressure

What did the lactose intolerant boy say when he accidentally drank some milk? Nothing, he went into anaphylactic shock and couldn't breathe.

Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

What's Black, White, and Red all over? A Cow in a giant blender...

An IRS agent named Harold Crick finds that he has the ability to hear a narrator comment on every moment of his life. He later becomes institutionalized in the Schizophrenic ward.

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada, where were the deceased buried? It turns out that there were passengers of several different nationalities on board, all of which were buried in their respective homelands.

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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