a man walks into a bar... his drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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what did John do to make the cold weather a little less irritating? well, being a homeless man, John did..... nothing.

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what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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- Hi, my name is Sarah Lennon. - Wow! Are you related to Sarah Palin?!

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You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

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A blind man walks into a deaf woman. He tries to apologize but she can't hear him.

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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So three ants are in a straight line. The first ant said there's an ant behind me, the second ant said there's an ant behind me, and the third ant said there's an ant behind me. Why is this? The third ant lied.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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When is a Jew the sleepiest? Depends on the time really... some people sleep and wake up on different biological calendars.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

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What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.

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What is white And taste like sheep A sheep

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What the hell are you doing?

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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Find x X + 2 = 5 ^ I found it

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Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why is meth so addicting? Why? Hang on, i gotta go do some meth

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I'm going as the joker for halloween

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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