:)I will always assist you in whatever you ever want. :(I want to kill you!

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What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You kill him with an axe

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Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

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What did a blonde and a Puerto Rican name their baby? Joshua, after the blonde's grandfather who passed away a year earlier.

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Why don't you want to shout "Hi" to your friend Jack on an airplane? Because he's deaf and will not hear you.

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"....did he fire six shots or only five....." It doesn't really matter, considering he will die of blood loss soon

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What the the Tyrannosaurus say to the chicken? Dinosaurs are extinct and even if they were not, it would not say anything to a domestic fowl, it would most likely devour it with one bite.

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What was Mozart's favorite vegetable? Aspara-gus.

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Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

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roses are brown violets are brown who shit on my garden?

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Why don't lesbians use dildoes? Because they look just like a big penises.

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Shea's sty....

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What the difference between a mexican family and a bench? The bench can support the family

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What did the doctor say to the lawyer? Nothing. They weren't even together. He was in the hospital saving people and the lawyer was in his office working on a case.

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Why are Black Guys Black? Migration and adaptation to the harsh heat of the southern Sahara Desert. DUH.

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what do kids take their lunch in to school. that depends if they buy lunch at school... otherwise they bring it in a lunchbox...

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What's the best part of the 1980s? They're over.

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

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Whats the opposite of purple? Your adopted

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What do you call a blonde doctor? Doctor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops