Me: did u here the one about the girl got hit by a car? Man: no what happened? Me: She is in the hosspital with slight fractures and a broken wrist, but she will live

There is a mountain and there are three men, One is asian and the two others are black and white. "This is for my people!" Said the asian man when he was falling for his death. "This is for my people!" Yelled the african american. Then he takes the American man and throws him off the mountain

what did the drunk man say to the bar tender? Hello good sir. Fine day today isn't it.

Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a good, New England family man

An Italian man with a very thick accent decides to travel to America. On arriving, he decides to take a taxi and tour the nearby city. The man, feeling hungry after a while, chooses to stop at a bakery. Upon entering the bakery, the man walks up to the display of bread, and points at the loaves of bread he wanted, calling to the baker "I want 2 piece." The baker, not understanding the man's accent asks the man to repeat what he said. So the man repeats, "I want 2 piece, right here, right now." "Sure thing," the baker says, and gives the man the loaves of bread.

What did the old man say when those damn kids stepped on his lawn? Nothing one of those kids killed him around three years back....

Bill gates walked into a store and farted. It stunk up the entire place and the employees were mad. But it was their fault for not having windows.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it got stuck at a red light, it waited 5 minutes before getting frustrated and leaving. Later that day the chicken realized that it had forgotten to press the button.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

whay did the monkey fall out of the tree? he was dead. why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

Wait! hundred billions!

A duck walks into a bar and is immediately shot to prevent the spread of bird flu.

Three men walk into a bar, the bartender asks why are you three men in here? The men look confused and suddenly leave

what's worse than finding 8 dead babies in 1 trash can?....... 1 dead baby in 8 trash cans.

How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

what's worse than finding an worm in your apple? Finding HALF a worm in your apple.

a mother: my little boy always asks me to take him to see dinosaurs...but they are extinct. me: take him to a museum you dumb bitch!

You look like Susan Boyle f**ked Snooki and then got hit by a truck.

What did the chicken say after crossing the road? Nothing.It's a f*cking chicken.

Too bad, because UNTIL YOUR FUCKING "POWER OF HUMAN KIND" CAN SUMMON UP A FUCKING EYEBALL! NOTHING WILL MAKE UP FOR THIS SHIT! "Oh, my the good old phonebook, I will... Now... try... to... seduce... you... with... my... "goodness" As far as "oh I know where you live", well nobody here is hiding fagface! So you come out of your "darkness or shadows or whatever" and let me stab out both your fucking eyes! And we are STILL NOT GOOD! And yeah, have your faggots stop calling themselves Nero.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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