Q.who is Tiny, a lion and has no friends and is a bald eagle? A.Rory Johnston

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What do friends and potatoes have in common? If you eat them, they will die.

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What's the difference between a hipster and a steaming pile of shit? Many things.

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what goes in hard, comes out soft, and you blow on it? bubble gum!

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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What do you get a kid with no arms for Christmas? Hungry, Hungry Hippos.

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a kid says, "where are you from?" other kid says "my mom"

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Why was Timmy crying when he got home? His family was dead in a pile with a pitchfork going through each of their bodies

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What do a pizza man and a gynecologist have in common? They are both hardworking members of the community!

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Why was the tree sad? Trees cannot think or move, and thus cannot feel emotions.

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Try this on your friends and make them look dumb So a plane crashes on the border between the USA and Canada. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury the survivors.

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So a Buddhist said, "YOLO." ._.

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Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

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Whats worse than being bored, Being you.

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Why was the truck driver speeding down the road? To get to his mother's funeral. Why didn't the baby cross the road? Because it didn't have any guts.

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An man walks into a bar and then proceeds to purchase an alcoholic drink.

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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If 1+1=2, then you must have passed first grade arithmetic.

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What happened to the turtle that was on land Dead

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What's under the first mate? The second mate.

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Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops