How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

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A blonde just got a call from her boyfriend. He said i'll meet you at your house, so the blonde drove home, excited. Once the blonde got home her boyfriend was having sex with another girl. The blonde burst into tears and pulled out her gun then stuck it to her head. " No dont do it!" her boyfriend said!...... the blonde, not knowing what to do next said, " Shut up you cheater you're next!"

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What's black and white and enforces the rules at football games? A referee? Wow you're really smart.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

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If you make an anti joke out of an existing anti joke, does it become a new anti joke? Yes. No.

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So I was walking down the street the other day, I went to the shop.

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A small boy is playing on the sidewalk. Then, he is approached by a black van. The boy gets in the van, and the van drives away. Then, the man driving the van says, "So, how was your day, son?"

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? ?? She had just prepared her breakfast and was late for her full-time job as a police officer.

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A Muslim walks into a Bar, He buys everyone a round of drinks and enjoys the rest of his night

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Dyslexic drunk died choking on his own vimto last night

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

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What did the fish want to drink? Charlie Brown

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What did the car do? CRASH!

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oh whatever donald trump's not going to be president. stop pretending he is

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Why did the midget fall from a tall building? Because somebody pushed him.

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How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sky diving? I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

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What do you call a sheep with big teeth? Mitch

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Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

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what's the difference between dodo and doodoo doodoo is still around for you to see

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Why didn’t the skeleton go to see a scary movie? Because skeletons don't have eyes, and can not watch movies.

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Q: What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg? A: One is a huge, flaming, Nazi gasbag, and the other is a drug-addicted talkshow host.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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