Why is Michael J. Fox so good at shake-a-weight? He is in shape.

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LIFE :(

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Inbreeding is no laughing matter but damn is it funny.

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Why did Steven Hawkins die? he got a virus

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Who Who who? Who who who Who who who who? Who who who who who who who who who who who who who who who…

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Why did the Japanese man fall down the stairs? He was blind and deaf and not aware of his surroundings to prevent himself from doing so.

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Why did the boy fail math? He got bad grades.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you simply have a chicken joke WITHOUT it crossing the road

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Knock knock Who is there? Your mom Your mom who? STOP WITH THIS GAME AND JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

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Did you know that you can drink lava? You can only do it once though.

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Why did the cat cross the road? To see its mom who was lying dead on the other side

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Keep talking shit bitch, and I'll come for you!

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A black man is running down the street with a purse in his hand. He was trying to catch up to the old woman who forgot it at the restaurant. She was very grateful.

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What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, but I'm late for work.

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Two guys walk into a bar.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A bug in your nut.

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What's worse than missing your flight? Realizing that everyone who got on it died from a bomb

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Whats big orange and likes to eat rocks? a big orange rock eater

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a pressure-sensitive explosive device.

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Q. How do you make your dog stop barking? A. Take it to the grocery store. Replace it with any popsicle in the fridge.

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What did the young Muslim man have attached to him? A book-bag, it was is his first week college and he eager for an education.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops