A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

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Whats the difference between a house and a mouse If you think about it , quite a lot really

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What did the army guy say when he lost his gun. Wheres my gun.

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What did the prostitute say to the pimp? Can I have $50? She was found three minutes later beaten to death with a purple cane, and had many imprssions of rings in her skull

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im saul and i love cock

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What do you call an african american child that hasn't eaten in a week? hungry.

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I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! I've got the whole world! In my hands! Now you must listen to all of my demands or I will crush you all.

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There is something fishy about.... the fish curry at home

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-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

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Insert joke that isn't even an anti joke = The new jokes on anti joke now.

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what's white, got three legs and you wouldn't expect to find in the rainforest? A fridge on a stool

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the reason why waldo is hiding from chuck norris is because they are playing hide and seek.

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What does the fox say? A scream-y howl. A shrill, hoarse scream of anguish, it sounds more than anything like a human baby undergoing some kind of physical torture.

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boys

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Why do elephants paint there feet yellow? so they can hide in mustard bottles. Have you ever seen an elephant in a mustard bottle? exactly

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What's Kanye West's main goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I got a brother. He's bigger then you.

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Some say Helen Keller can't write a good book. You know what she said? Nothing.

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What was the difference between an Irishmen and a apple? Alot.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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What's better than winning a gold at the paralympic Walking

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What is funny about a cod swimming around alone in the ocean? Nothing, over-fishing is a huge problem in the modern day.

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a man walks into a bar and quickly notices a young lady having a drink. He sits beside her and asks 'why the long face?' 'My mother was raped by a horse.'

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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