A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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Your mum's so fat, she attends regular weight loss facilities to lose weight.

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A non-harmful joke

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? I hit her with a shovel.

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What's worse than being forced to drink your own urine and eat a disabled kids poop? James Holmes (Ironic that the text I had to type in to post this was "I'M BATMAN".)

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Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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Q: Where was Moses when the lights went out. A: In the dark.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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Why did the Black man buy some slaves? They were his family

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I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

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A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area.

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes......

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? monkey see monkey do why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? it lost its footing why did the girl fall down? she was hit by four monkeys and a refridgerator

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just in time?

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what sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potato peeler

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Hey, what do you call Sarah Palin? A Republican.

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nobody move! I've dropped my brain.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday!

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Why doesn't my mom make dinner anymore? she died in a fire on my birthday.

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how do you drowned a blonde? put ankle weights on her and throw her in a river.

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely and should probably go to the hospital.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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