Q: What do Magic Johnson and Freddie Mercury have in common? A: Freddie Mercury is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was 6 afraid of seven? because 7 brutally beat and raped 9

thumb_up thumb_down +25

When you nut and slice her fukcing dumb head off fucking dumb BITCH DIES

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what goes woof ? A dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats worse than finding out one of your grandparents died, finding out both your grandparents died.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A catholic priest gets a nun pregnant. He drowns the baby several months later.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

a man walked in to a bar and said 'outch'

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: What would happen if you threw a red brick into the black sea? A: It would get wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Do you know what it looks like when you put a cat in the microwave for 3 minutes? I don't know either because I close my eyes when I masturbate.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why can't Helen Keller have sex? She is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Two muffins were in an oven. One of them said, "It's sure hot in here!" The other muffin didn't respond because it's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the women die? Because She was a Squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: What's pink and fuzzy? A: Pink Fuzz...

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q. What's better then a baby in a microwave? A. What the hell is wrong with you? Did your parents not love you enough when you were born? Everything is worse then a baby in a microwave! Besides the felony charges it is extremely wrong! Your going to hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops