What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back.... and that's it because the holocaust never happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, you're entire family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why didnt Stevie Wonder wave back at the white man? Because he's a racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the fat guy smell bad? He just farted diarrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Whos allergic to BS You R! :D

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did billy fall down the stairs? He got pushed.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

how many jews does it take to fit in a mid-size sedan? -5 comfortably.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why is it a bad idea to stand in a thunder and lightning storm with a metal rod? Because you will get wet from the rain.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q. How did the blind man cross the road A. By an abmulance which took him to the hospital because his first attempt to cross was unsuccessful and the hospital was conventeintly located on the other side of the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops