What's the difference between Jews and pizza? God likes pizza

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melons are berries, tomatoes are fruit, being a smart-ass isn't that good.

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whats brown and half eaten? yeah an easter egg that a parent has given to there son/daughter before dinner

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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Q: What has 2 eyes and 2 halves of pigs' snout? A: Two pigs peeking around a corner.

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why did the woman commit suicide? because 2+2=4

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A blind man watches TV

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Q: What did the prostitute ask the officer? A: Where were you stationed? I have a lot of respect for our boys in the Middle East.

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What's worse than a real joke on AntiJoke? The Holocaust

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Why did the fat Jew cross the road? To go to the bicycle shop to fix his puncture

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Q:What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor?

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Why didn't the Country club waiter enjoy iced tea? He's simply always had a preference for warm beverages. He assumes this goes back to his infant days when his mother would massage his belly with warm porridge.

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What did the red paint say to the blue paint? They said nothing. Paints don't talk and you need to see a doctor if you answered anything else.

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what did Russell wilson get for Christmas a seahawk..

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What do you say to a black man with AIDS? I hope you get medical help and find a cure for your illness.

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What is brown and sticky? A chocolate ice cream made with too much margarine and not enough of the ice mixture used to make Mr Whippy

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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This stuff on espn about Jason Collins is very gay

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How long does it take a blonde to skrew in a light bulb? Any amount of time; given that she knows that said bulb is in need of replace meant, or that said blonde is disabled, or if you thought I would make some kind of funny blonde joke that you would tell your friend and then forget ten minutes later, only to think of it a day later and claim it as your own.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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i want to meet Dora's parents and ask them why they let that bitch go everywhere

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Q: GUESS WHAT IS REALLY BAD????? A: TITTY CANCER! :0

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Why could a fat man not do a barrel roll? He has already to many rolls.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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