Seargent: Quick seal off all the exits so he cant get away. Private: OK 2 minutes later Private: He escaped sir Seargent: What, how Private: through one of the entrances

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a cat a dog and a penis meet up. The cat said ur lucky, when you have to pee u can go wherever you want. the dog said your lucky you can go in a litter box. the penis said your lucky u dont have to put a ballon over your head and do pushups till you throw up!!!

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What did the red apple say when it saw a black man an irish man, and an asian walk into a bar? nothing apples cant talk.

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

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Why do girls have bumps around their nipples ? -it's brai for suck here .

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68

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Why did the guy lie down? He was dead.

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A spatial closet situates trolls beside the whistle.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour soup on his head.

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Johnny had 50 candy bars. He ate 45 of them. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

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An Indian child is born with three arms. After being ridiculed his whole life he kills himself at age 19.

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your mums so fat! "last time i heard that i fell of my dinosaur!!" Oh man are you ok?

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in cirlcles? nail its hand to the floor

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Why was the Black man running with a T.V.? Because he had just purchased a new LCD FlatScreen from BestBuy, and a torrential downpour had just began and he didn't have a free hand to hold up his umbrella.

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What did the horse say to the cow? Nothing because animals cannot speak.

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Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? Cause she was blind, def, and mute. Thus making it difficult to drive.

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A man found out that he had hit the lottery and would be receiving 300 million dollars, but he had to fly to china to do so. The man took a plane to China from New York and would arrive within the next several hours. Meanwhile, in australia a god-cow was producing infinitely large amounts of concentrated milk. His milk was so infinitely large in mass that it collapsed on its own mass and turned into black hole; absorbing the entire Earth. The man never got to receive his money from winning the lottery

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What are the differences between a black man and a park bench? One's a chair and ones a person.

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Gay rights.

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Why did the police officer arrest the black guy? Because the guy was black and the police officer was racist.

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What did the Atheist say to priest? Evolution

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roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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