If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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When is a door not a door? Never, a door is an inanimate object and is thus incapable of transforming.

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Your momma's so fat; She has a constant sense of insecurity due to the instability in her relationships caused by her involuntary obesity.

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i have to tell you a knock knock joke. but you have have to start it..

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What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

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Why is Dominic's nick name big D? Because the first letter in his name is D.

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24

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A blind man, a black man and a rabbi walk into a bar. The blind man trips violently.

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Why is the sky blue? I don't know I thought you knew

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Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

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800 people died last year. end of story

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Scientific fact: If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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How do you hurt a clown? shoot it.

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Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Almost everything. Infant mortality rates are incrediby high in many third world countries, and it is certainly no laughing matter.

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Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Cancer

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Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

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minorities

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back.... and that's it because the holocaust never happened.

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What do chinese people eat? Chinese food.

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What did one banana say to the other banana? Answer: It didnt say anything because bananas are inanimate objects, so it isn't humanly possible for a banana to speak.

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

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Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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