What's the difference between a pessimist and a magnet? One is made of flesh and can talk, think and do things. The other is made of metal and can only pull things towards itself or push them away. But strangely, the latter is a lot more welcome in most situations.

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple

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What were the muslims doing on the plane? Probably going somewhere that was too far to walk or drive.... just like everyone else on the plane.

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So, there was two monkeys sitting in a bath tub one says "Hey, could you pass the soap?" the other says "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have herpees.

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Is that your face or is your dog walking backwards.

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Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

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A boy walks into a bar. He wakes up in a hospital 3 days later with a bruise on his head. He asks the doctor, "What happened?" The doctor replies, "The bartender smashed a glass on your forehead."

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Why did greg come to America? Because he wanted visit the states

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

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Know what's funny? Not these jokes!

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A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

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Dear Anti Jokes> A black guy walks into a bar...He says hey u Idiot Gimme that Root Beer.. Tony Fast says IDIOT U GET OUTA HERE RIGHT NOW!Black women gets a gun and shoots his son... Tony Fast says im callin the cops on u then they kill alll. And they got hit by a bus. By TobyTurner

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What's short, ruthless, and asian? Kim Jong Ill

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what did the chinese man say to the other asian? he said ??????

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Thats what she said

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What did the preist say to the other preist? 'hey! we're both preists!'

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why did the walrus sex with the jew because 911 created a sexual falafel

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i hate black people

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Of course, you have always found more joy in seeing others happy, that pursuing your own happiness.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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