Q: Why did the Creeper explode? A: Cause you invaded and took his land that was rightfully his. He's not the monster, You are!

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A boy got a dog for his Birthday. The dog would have said happy Birthday but dogs can't speak.

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Q-what did the bus say to the other bus? A-nothing, buses are incapable of talking

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Why did the chicken cross the road. It's head was cut off and it didn't know where it was

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If this becomes top-viewed I will post more milk related jokes

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red is black green is black i'm batman i'm white,

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A tree falls over on an old woman. Mysteriously, the woman lifts the tree up and walks away. A man is amazed by this, so he goes and asks the woman how she managed to lift the whole tree. She tells the man that he is an idiot an walks away. Later inspecting the tree, he realizes it is a small sapling weighing no less than 10 pounds

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What did the chubby, dirty, hobo get for Christmas? Cancer

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WHat did the Somalian girl get for Christmas? AIDS

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What's the best time to go to the dentist? Whenever your appointment is scheduled.

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Stop me if you heard this one before.

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What is the opposite of pro? Con right? So what's the opposite of progress? Congress

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What's brown and sticky? A stick!

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why did the kids pull the fire alarm? because there was a fire.

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What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

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I feel like making a good joke.But i cant. YN

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What has two legs and can't walk. Someone thats paralyzed!

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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Yo' mama's such a hoe she got arrested last week for prostitution charges!

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Q: What's worse than ten dead babies nailed to one tree? A: One baby nailed to ten trees.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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A pony goes to the doctor saying his throat hurts, the doctor sais "oh I know, your a little hoarse". The pony replies, no I'm not ass-hole I have strep throat.

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My friends told me they found a dead women....they said they pissed on her........that was my mom

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If you are riding on a boat and all the wheels fall off, how many pancakes would it take to make a dog house? It does not matter because fish don't like tomatoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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