Why was the jew crying? He just found out his newborn baby had twenty minutes to live.

What was the blind man's favorite game? Marco Polo

Roses are red Violets are blue I am staraiL so dont touch me!!!!!

I can't hear you. I have carrots in my ears.

so...um, yeah

charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

Three dogs start a club called the Holly Place Exclusive Dog Club. The Club Motto is, "You can't be in our club. Just us. Read the sign. It says "Exclusive". How is that confusing? Get away from here. Now."

2 + 2 = fish

can you touch your toes? no

What goes up but never comes down? This dick

Which is the rarest animal in the North pole? The Polaroid.

I was going to write a joke about Alzheimers ... but I completely forgot it.

whats green and dont fit? a dead epileptic.

What's the easiest way to become President? Have a background in politics and a catchy campaign slogan that voting Americans can relate to.

i find your gravy quite lumpy.

What is 1 inch long and eats everyone in it's way .... my pet fish

What did the doctor say to the pregnant mother? Your babies dead

What are 3 skills black people have that they use for basketball? Great hand eye co-ordination, communication and encouragement.

A black man walks into a store and buys a gun based upon the increasing crime rate in his area. He stops for lunch and heads home.

Too tired to come up with the definition, by the way, it was I that came up with the code system you guys use, so I kinda knew long ago that you lied to me when you said you do not use passwords,

What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

Why wasn't Abraham Lincoln a good president? Because he got shot in the head and died.

who has less of a soul then you? a ginger

how many baby's does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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