How do you make a small child cry? You cut off his fingers..

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There's a cat, a dog, a rat and a goat... I don't know how the goat got in there?

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, it hurts when i poke my leg like this!" The doctor says,"Mm yes, it seems you have taken an arrow to the knee. You'll never walk again."

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A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

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If you are on this site, you have a shitty life. It is even shittier if you read this.

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What do you catch a baby with? A pitchfork

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know. Me either. Well, later. Later.

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Are you one of those gay rapists that flame around telling people no all the time?

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One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

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Why was there a red chicken? He tried crossing the road.

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What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

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If a man dies in China, Does anybody care?

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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a man walks into a bar, he is injured severely and needs medical attention stat, he is rushed to the hospital where he dies that evening

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Mark Twain, Jesus, and Bill Gates are sitting at a bar. Someone messed with the space time continuum again.

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Why was the man sent to the hospital? He got crushed by a flying refrigerator.

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Hey, look over there! It's ur mom!

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#IHateHashtags

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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what do you call a black man that sells drugs

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? - Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up again? - Because she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her? - Because she had no friends. Knock knock. -Who's there? Not Sally.

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Did you hear about the black kid that had a gun? Yeah, it's a.20 gage that his father bought him for Christmas so that he could go hunting together

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops