Roses are red Violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

Your mama's so nice, she made me cookies once. And I enjoyed them.

It's yellow and when you press the button, it becomes red... A baby chicken in a blender

What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

What’s big, grey, has wrinkly skin, and a trunk? An elephant. Oh, you’ve heard this one.

how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? An egg.

Roses are Expensive. Violets are Gay. Poems are for pussies... Have a nice day!

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

Q: what r u eating under there? A: underwear ewww thats nasty

What do you call a baby that fell in lava Dead

What is the difference between ashes and a jew? A lot

What has seven ears, four legs and two arms? Nothing.

How many babies can fit in a dumpster? Let's not find out...

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Not Suzy!!

True or false , is it hotter in the summer or in the city? False, because blue monkeys don't eat orangutan bones.

Why did Steven Hawking walk into a bar? He didn't he can't walk

I was on Facebook today. Opened someones wall. Read "LIKE if you know someone that needs to be smacked in the face with a shovel." So I liked it and wrote my exboyfriend's name.......

How do you scare a brunette? Hide behind a door or wall until the unsuspecting person walks by, then jump out and yell.

What do you call a man with no legs and no arms on your doorstep? Matt

In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your Uncle jackoff an elephant? Probably not because it would take more than 3 hands to jack off an elephant P.S. Your Uncle Jack only has 1 hand. Your uncle was on a swing and a clown cut off his hand with an ax

Why did my toaster break? because it was made in china

when life gives you lemons throw them away.. they are probably bad

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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