What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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What do you call a monkey holding a hand grenade? It depends on what its name is.

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This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

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Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

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person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I can't wait to shove my finge in you

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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How to you get a clown off a swing? You shoot it in the face.

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How many Muslims does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

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Knock knock. *Silence Knock knock *silence Knock knock *Silence KNOCK KNOCK. *Silence (Busts open door) Oh right I murdered Billy a week ago

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky? It had no wings.

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I once had a friend We had our arguments, and went our separate ways.

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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What's the difference between a black man and and a bag of crap? A lot, but mostly the bag

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What did the librarian say at the heavy metal concert? Shhhhh

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When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from K.F.C

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Once upon a time there was a man exercising, he pulled a muscle and had to have his heart removed. In other words, don't exercise. The end.

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We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

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knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me Doa Kong Oh, Hi! Come on in.

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What happened to the man who grew into the couch? He was surgically removed and forced to exercise daily. He is feeling much better now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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