A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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What did the Ethiopian get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What do Jerry Sandusky and Michael Jackson have in common? They both had sex with little boys.

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What time is it when an elephant steps on your watch? Time to go to the hospital and get treated for a shattered wrist.

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I wanted to burn alot of calories so i found a fat kid and set him on fire. :3

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Shoot it.

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How do you make a Chef cry? You kill his family.

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Why could the red heading boy sing higher notes than the blonde headed boy? He was castrated at birth.

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why is pie good. because it just is.

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

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Three mexicans walk into a bathroom they all had to go pee.

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Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

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Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

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Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

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An airplane flies due north at 100 m/s through a 30 m/s cross wind blowing from the east to the west. Determine the resultant velocity of the airplane.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Well... I can't tell you. It's inapropriate.

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bangers and mash?

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Why did the black lady pick out a white dress? Because she thought it was a pretty white dress.

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aa

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A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -I do not believe chickens like being questioned of their motives. We should leave them alone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops