on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

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how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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knock knock who's there? F uck F uck who? F uck off

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it's goal was to get to the other side however unfortunately a giant gorilla picked up a car; threw it at a nearby building causing it to collapse; setting off a massive explosion causing all of the buildings on that side of the street to collapse. As the whole other side of the street was covered in rubble making it impossible for the chicken to get to the other side, so the chicken decided to turn around and go home.

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A man sees another man sitting on a bench with a pickle in his ear. He asks the man "Why do you have a pickle in your ear?" The other man replies "What? I couldn't hear you because I have a pickle in my ear."

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Q:Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable A:The Wheelchair

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Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

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What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

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What do you get when you multiply two by three? Six.

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A mormon walks into a bar.

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What does Obama, the President of the United States of America see when he closes his eyes? His eyelids

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Knock knock. ... There was no reply because the resident was on holiday.

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what did the ghost say to the bee boo-bee

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I wrote a funny joke.

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How does a bird grow gills if you're riding a peanut. A fridge.

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how many babies does it take to fill up a blender? None. they all died before being put in a blender.

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who dosent like to wear shirts and is not straight Petko Manchev

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Roses are rainbow. Violets are rainbow. Everything is rainbow. Thats why you don't take LSD.

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whats a great gift to share with small children? Ebola

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cargo. Cargo who? Cargo beep beep.

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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Do u know where the glue is? nope, i just glued my hand to this table, so im no help to u

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why did the boy drop his icecream?? he got hit by a bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops