If you're head weren't attached to your shoulders... you'd be dead.

Why did the little girl cry? She lives in Haiti.

How do you make a man cry? you torture him

Q: Why can't sally play on the swing? A: Because she has no arms Q: Who was the first to climb mount everest? A: Not Sally

Why couldnt Helen Keller drive? Because She was Blind you sexist asshole

What did the broom say to the vacuum cleaner? "Your mom sucks."

What's worse than getting raped? getting raped by a horse in car while listening to nickelback

what is racecar backwards in reverse

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

Uh... What was emulating again?

tee hee

why did chuck norris walk on water? because he's chuck norris

What do you call a poor Donald Trump? Donald Trump

How did the Mexican get into the united States of America? He was an american citizen, just of mexican descent.

What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

Emergency call: - Please help, my little son swallowed a condom! 5 minutes later - It is ok, I found another one.

What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy almost unparalleled in marine history.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

Ask me if i am a tree? "Are you a tree" No.

How many lollipops does it take to shingle a dog? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

What did the transvestite say to the fox? 'scuse me, you've got something on your shoe.

What do tomatoes, apples, oranges, lemons, and peaches have in common? They are all fruits.

How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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