Why did Suzie get raped? because she was out past her bedtime. and the morale to this story is that its funny to be raped.

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A mexican and a black were in a cop car. Who was driving it? The Mexican, he was a cop and the black person was his assistant.

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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Need therapy? No you do not, just follow these steps. When someone feels suicidal, I ask them, so what would you do and feel when you are dead? People: First I think ill just chill like this, and then everything would be empty and no more noise like this here "holds hands over ears", and it would all just be black and nice afterwards.... Me: Stay in that state for a while. Human: Gee I am starting to feel better... Me: GEE YOU SUCK KILL YOURSELF NOW! 2. How to CURE PERMANENTLY (not treat over 30 years with no effect) someone that cant say no... First I let my victim enter the room, then I shut the door and shout "SAY NO TO ME YOU FUCKlNG WH000RE!" Victim: NOOOOOOO I CANT! Cured, stop wasting my fucking time NEXT 3. SUUUUUUUURE! Me: So you feel uncertain? Patient: Uh yeah... Me: Are you certain about that? Patient: You are just certain about you being certain which is not possible because you are uncertain NOW DIE! PROTIP: Death is the cure to all disease... NOOOOOOOT! (Postmortem disease no?) 4. I forgot this example. Anyway, I say something smart, you give me thumbs down because you are jelly, and then I eat you and I had some jelly.... I master nonsense, I am the jack of no trades and master of all.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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what did johnny's mom do for his 50th birthday? she died

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What did the black man say to the other black man? We are both black men.

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Your momma's so stupid that she might not have graduated from high school, ceasing her ability to have an educated job. Now, she makes minimum wage and can barely feed her son.

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How do you change you dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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One day little billy was wandering happily through the forest.He then trips and his legs disintegrate

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identical jokes get different votes.

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A plane crashed in the border of mexico and USA. Where do you bury the survivors? tell me in the thing bellow

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A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

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You know it's sunny outside when you go outside and its sunny

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what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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What has a mouth but cant talk Helen keller What has eyes but cant see Helen keller What has ears but cant hear You guessed it an ear of corn

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What do you call it, when a jew makes fun of a black guy? Racism.

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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according to the ewspickle, it is Dumbledore's favorite food.

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What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

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Is this the krusty Crab? No you idiot this is a phone!!!!!

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

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Why did the courageous young boy always follow his dreams? His IQ sucked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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