What do you do when you see a black man with half a head? Stop laughing and reload

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the man who brutally raped and murdered his infant daughter say? He didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldnt jim jump rope? His feet were nailed to the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why is pie good. because it just is.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A frog walked into a bar. Except by frog I meant Frenchman, and by bar I meant English pub. The Englishmen in the bar kill the Frenchman in a display of territoriality.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's red, white and blue? You're mother on her period after she had sex. I don't know where the blue came from.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are, blue, Violets are red, Screw poetic forms, I wish you were dead

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get when you cross a cow with an elephant? A deformed organism

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Superman vs Batman real fight: Batman: Hmm I believe that Superman might want to fight m*squish* Batman explodes in a bunch of meat as a blue and red blur is seen fly by. Extended Edition: Batman: Hah Superman I got kryptonite gloves so if you would just stand close to them for about five minute...*squish* Batsack of meat left we see nothing because Superman is FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET. They are probably gonna go like every fucking crossover, first they squabble and throw a few punches for five minutes, then they realize that the LAX LADDER LEX LUGER AND LEX LUTHOR brothers made up some fake story so sups and bts kill each other while they blow up the world, so Btz, and Soup end up beating them up... Moral: "PFF! BATMAN HAS BEATEN UP SUPERMAN AND THE HULK IN THOUSANDS OF SHlTTY NON CANON STORIES!" (In where the one with the Hulk described the hulk to have the instincts and combat skills of a "dumb, animal like confused ape" yes actual quote, Batman punched this confused green ape across a door and kept beating "The Hulk" up as he ran around in "animalistic fear and "rage" receiving random kicks by Batman, then Btz throws some capsule that turns into a fishbowl with no oxygen that chokes The Hulk (supposedly to death) in a few seconds... The Hulk can like hold his breath for YEARS in space, (but you know these lethal fishbowls)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why can't helen Keller read? She's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the little girl sad? An elephant shat on her face

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man walks in to a bar with a frog stapled to his head. The bar tender says What the heck is that. The frog says I don't know this thing has been coming out of my but for two days

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Jack and Jill went up a hill to snort a little coke, Jack felt horny , so did Jill. But unfortunately Jack cant's maintain an erection no matter how turned on he is.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats green and has wheels? a green tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the homeless guy say to the not-homeless guy? I'm homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the man write with a pen on paper? Because he was writing a novel.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What was so special about Anna Frank's diary? Nothing. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many pairs of jordans does your dad have? None, he lost both his legs in vietnam.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops