One night, a heartbroken magician named Jeff went to a bar. Jeff met a nice girl, and they talked and laughed together for hours. After a while, Jeff asked her, "do you want to see a magic trick?" She ate his wiener.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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Why can't the Mexican float? He never learned the proper technique as he was not allowed to take swim class.

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Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

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What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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What has a skinny head and specky? Josh Moran.

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It's green, has four legs and sits in a tree. And if it falls on your head you're dead. A billiard table.

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A black guy walks into a bar. He drinks some wine and exits the bar. -Lets Go Mets, not Yankees

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Why did little jimmy fall off the building? 9/11

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hello

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A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

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Have you seen Andrea Bocelli's new house? No. He hasn't either.

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Why did America nuke Japan? Because Japan bombed Pearl Harbor.

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what duz 69 mean? its a number duhhhhhhh

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Roses are red Violets are silly Grease up your flaps Cause here comes my willy!

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing they just waved

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What do you call an African American sitting on a park bench? Elephant-man (I forgot to mention, he has a giant elephant trunk)

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? Their both purple. except for the rabbit

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Why did the chcicken cross the road? To get to the other side nl

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whats the difference between virgin and a porn star?? A virgin hasn't got aids.

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9

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im gay

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Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Breaking news! An 18 wheeler has gone loose and hit a playground damaging a swing, 1 fatality and 16 children injured 5 in critical condition

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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