Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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A black guy and a hispanic guy walk into a bar they sit down and happily have a drink CHEESE ON TOAST

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i am writing this because i felt like it.

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Q: What was the name of the armless elf in Snow White? A: Stumpy

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How do you stop the neighbors from calling the police when you play your music too loud? Kill them and use their bodies as noise insulation

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What's white and looks like paper? Paper.

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how do you wake up a cat? you break it.

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A Mexican man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "haven't you got a damaged liver?" The Mexican replies "haven't you got a job to do?" The Mexican died 2 seconds later

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What did the pear tree say to the farmer? Go harvest that corn over yonder.

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why did the bus roll down the hill? Children were playing in the street.

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What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

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A little boy who was sleeping in his parent's bed woke up in the middle of the night only to discover his mother performing fellatio on his father. "Mommy, mommy," he said . . . except he didn't. He said nothing, and the incident troubled him deeply for many years.

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What's worse than waking up with a clown in your bed? Waking up with a dead clown in your bed.

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What does a blonde say when she being raped? Ow it hurts stop... What does the guys who's raping her say? Oh shut up you know you like it...

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

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What's fat, gay, and ugly. A fat, gay, and ugly guy.

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why did the kid stop eating his breakfast...two Penn state officials knocked at the door

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Why didn't the black man go to work? He had to attend his sister's funeral, who just recently passed away after her long hard battle with breast cancer.

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Baby you're so hot I have an erection the size of an average penis.

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Your mamma's so dumb, we are seriously worried she might hurt herself.

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BLACK PEOPLE! (im black so its not racist)

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Want to hear a joke? Womens rights.

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What did the lawyer say to the lawyer We are both lawyers

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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