Why didn't the teen girl get to her appointment? A) She woke up late.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did 4 Christians, 2 Jews, 1 Muslim, 1 Buddhist and an atheist squeeze into a Honda Accord? One of their co-workers at Appleby's made a compelling case for the financial and environmental benefits of carpooling.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Friends are like balloons When you stab them they die.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

thumb_up thumb_down +35

I used play skyrim...but then I realsied I had a lot of exams so I had to stop

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did they monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

know whats funnier than 24? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the little girl cry? Because she had just witnessed the slaughter of her entire family and friends in front of her eye, leaving her not only peerless and alone, but also with the mental scars which come with witnessing such a harrowing ordeal.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

thumb_up thumb_down +31

24

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +31

You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Doctor Doctor i've got wind can you give me something? Thats not wind the doctor replies thats a rare form of stomach cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops