what did the man say to his dog? sex. -teagan doherty

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I've lost my electron!! Are you sure? Yes! I'm Positive!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a cheese that's not yours? Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Seeing you happy is what makes me happy Nero, it has always been this way.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red,violets are blue, dont read my words, says the ring of lords.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call the CEO of a successful company? Rich.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than public speaking? Public masterbation. *Spelled it wrong purposly to bypass the filter*

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Maggie shit herself? Because she saw her son.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what's black, white, and red all over? A nun in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock "Who's there?" "Bark bark" "Bark Bark who?" "Bark bark bark bark bark bark."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Emergency call: - Please help, my little son swallowed a condom! 5 minutes later - It is ok, I found another one.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Nobody likes you ya noob! (-_-) *sniff* MAN YOU SMELL BAD

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock. Who's There? Timmy. YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A blonde a red head and burrnett was on a island, heres there diolouge. Red:lets have a breast stroke race. bothe burnett and blonde:ok. The red head gets to the next island 1st and waits 2hrs,then the burnett comes up. Red:what took u so long? Burnett:i got hit by some waves.. they both wait weeks and weeks. the blonde comes . red and burnett: what took u long? Blonde:umm.... YOU GUYS CHEATED!! YOU USED UR HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Mom: Are you going to jump of a cliff just cause your friends are? Kid: You got married to dad cause you were the last lonely whore left of all your friends. And you wanna talk to me about peer pressure. Mom: Go jump.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Strength of body Vs Strengh of Mind. Mind: You can lead a horse to water... Strength: Then you can force that mother*bleep* to drink all you want that *bleep* to drink! Strength of body wins, horseless victory.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Ok,here's one, my brother can sometimes do it! Ok. Think of a number between 1 and 10 Add ten Add ten Add ten Add five Add five Take away your original number \~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\~\ _______________________________________ Is your number NOW, 40? Was your original number 6? Click thumbs up if that WAS your answer! ????????

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you get a woman out of a car? You drive it into a river and her body will float to the top.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a room with an oven and ten Jews in it? A kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why is this anti-joke here? Because someone submitted it to this website.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he’d rather be road kill, than be in the KFC right across the street,inside a kids meal,dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Three penguins are at the top of snowy hill. The first penguin slides down the hill, and yells "RADIO!" The second penguin slides down the hill, and yells "RADIO!" Finally, the third penguin slides down and hill and yells "RADIO!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops