Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

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There was porn on the Internet I masturbated to it, but my parents caught me, and I can't ever leave the house again until I'm 18.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Why did the chicken cross the road!? He was supposed to be dead! You are by far the most incompetent chicken assassin we've ever had. You're fired.

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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What's the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same

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~Roses Are Red~ ~Violets Are Blue~ ~I Am Straight~ ~Not Sure About You~ ~Tell us?~

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Why the chimp fell off the tree? Because it's dead.

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How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears Because he's a rabbit

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-What did the old lady have for dinner? -Dementia

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How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side

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What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of tree? A Pool Table

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I may have Alzheimer's. But at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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What's funnier than a jalapeño? A jalapeño on a stick.

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One day a young gentleman was walking down the street. He sees a wounded dog laying there on the sidewalk. He goes to tend to the wounded animal. It bites his hand. He rushes to the hospital and tests positive for rabies. The man has to be vaccinated and the dog terminated.

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How did the black guy, get a nice car, house, and attire? He went to college, and got a job.

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Why do white people not eat crackers? Cause it's cannabalism.

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Knock knock Who's there? What are you, blind?

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10inch nice

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What do you call a boomerang that doesnt come back? A stick.

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Why did the Harry Potter fan cry in school? She ran out of tampons.

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yo mama is so fat she broke a branch off the family tree

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JUST KIDDING^

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops