How many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? I don't know considering it was never done before, and that the size of the pancake would have to be taken into account. Although I would suggest you use a better material like wood, plastic, or metal.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A frog walks into a bar and the bartender thinks he is very well evolved because frogs don't walk they hop

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

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whats long and stretchy? elastic

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Girl: I wrote a poem. Boy: Let's hear it! Girl: I like you, thats a start. You don't, so we are growing apart. In my heart there's a little tear, its funny to see how much you care. I hate the way you played my heart. You never finish what you start. Boy: Cool. Whose is for? Girl: You... Boy: Wow ummm, I have to go to......................yeah bye.

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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Why did Timmy start a fire? Because Timmy was a derranged phycopath

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What did Oprah get for christmas? Weight Watchers

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Three cows are sitting in a field The first cow says, "MOOOO!" The second cow says, "MOOOO!" The third cow says, "MOOOO!"

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what did the toe say to the other toe? nothing they cant speak

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There is a man laying on the floor in a pool of blood and vomit, there is a broken beer bottle in a puddle of beer next to him. He thinks is a sponge.Purple

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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what goes in hard, comes out soft, and you blow on it? bubble gum!

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ask me if im a tree are you a tree? yes.

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Why is minecraft so awesome? Because real life is boring as crap.

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how do you rube out a circle? don't draw one

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Insert joke that isn't even an anti joke = The new jokes on anti joke now.

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Why did the Mexican jump the American border? Because he wanted a better paying job to support his family, and legal immagration to the States is a lengthy and highly difficult process.

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a

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Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

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there are 2 muffins in an oven one says "man its hot in here" the other says "shut up i hate this joke"

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Why did the hunter shoot the deer? Because he was hungry and might starve to death if he didnt

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why didnt the black guy die on the bus fire? The fire was in the front of the bus!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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