Why did Timmy start a fire? Because Timmy was a derranged phycopath

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jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Yeah I am sure nobody understood that one... Just be careful in the future. Besides you are supposed to link your "Moral" to the Solvemedia, I suggest you do not post, until you understand things further, I only suggest, but you know that if you become exposed or a threat towards outstanding forces, you become a threat to us all, to our and your fundation, this will not be tolerated unless your desire is to destroy your on fundation, if so, you risk that the desire of the entire fundation, is to destroy you, something which I of course will allow, as I am the leader, not the boss, I do not create nor enforce rules, only guidelines. Moral the friendly neighborhood R*pist: "being new, is no excuse to risk exposing shadows to the light"

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Knock knock Who's there? Impatient Hellen Keller. Impatient Hellen Keller who? ...

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What's worse than dividing by zero? Chuck Norris dividing your face!

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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How do you know if you are an alien? When you start maulesting sea creatures for their milk

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Why was the clown in red shoes wearing skis? Because he likes to ski in red shoes, and he's a clown

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If 1+1=2, then you must have passed first grade arithmetic.

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knowck knowck whos there? shea shea who? shea...duh!

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A rapist walks into a bar. He is promptly arrested afterwards.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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What do you call a black man standing on top of a church? "Holy-Shit."

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What's worse than AIDS? Not getting your sandwich.

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How do you make someone laugh at a funeral? Laughing gas How do you make someone cry at a birthday party? Tear gas How do you make someone high at a wedding? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - There are many ways to get high in a wedding. Gas is not the only option.

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Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

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where did little suzie go during 9/11 EVERYWHERE...

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What is black and white and cant get through revolving doors? A zebra with a spear through its head.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? blue paint on the rag

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Doctor Doctor! I think i'm epileptic! I'm not the Doctor, I'm the receptionist. You're a hypochondriac, now wait in the Que, like everybody else Mrs. Davis.

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Why couldn't the dwarf mother reach for the top shelf? Her height was at a mini-mum.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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