How many Jews can you fit in an oven? None, it's illegal.

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Why didn't Suzie go to the park? She commited suicide 2 years ago.

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Q:how do confuse courtney A: give her a beer

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a would chuck could chuck wood? Home depot

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Say this really fast. Ice Bank Mice Elf It'll take a while for dumbasses to understand.

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What is worse-losing your phone or failing school? Apartheid

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A Black man walks into a gay bar. He has a great time because he is perfectly content with his sexuality.

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- Why the black people smell? - To let even the blind person hate them.

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Why was Rebecca Black beaten with a pole when she sang Friday? It was Saturday

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Why did Suzie fall out of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks.

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School

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How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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How do you kill a vampire? You can't because vampires aren't real.

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A man is mowing the lawn. The mower stops, so he reaches down to see if something's stuck in the blades. What does he pull out? His finger.

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TIMMY

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What did the fish say after he swam into a wall? Dam

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because the person who did it before me mentioned that he enterted this, agreed to the Terms of Service and clicked submit - but missed out that he also typed in the capcha. Mine said: never quit.

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- On the cliff edge are standing three people: an Asian, Jewish and black man. Who's going to fall first? - Who's going to care about this?

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What do you call a Mexican in a suit? Another Drug lord What do you call a black guy in a suit? Guilty. What do you call a white guy in a suit? The black guys lawyer What do you call a woman in a suit? You don't call her anything as you wonder why she isnt in the kitchen. What do you call a women outside a kitchen? Useless. -Jordan.M

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In an apartment complex, a black family lived on the first floor, a mexican family lived on the second floor, and a white family lived on the third floor. Suddenly, at about noon on tuseday, a giant tornado came through town and took out the entire complex, destroying everything. Why did only the white familey survive the catastophy? Because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.

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Why do girls not have to have drivers license? Because they don't need a car to get from the bedroom to the kitchen ;) Don't mean to offend anybody! His joke is just funny

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Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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