What did the teacher say to the kid who got a 0 on a multiple choice spelling test? Wow your really dumb. Idiot

thumb_up thumb_down -16

i stole a monkey from a man in a yellow hat his name is george now his name is i hate you

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why do British Folk have yellow teeth? Genetics. Although scientists don't know the exact cause, it has been shown that people of British ancestory have a genetic predisposition which inhibits the body's breakdown and utilization of Vitamin C and Calcium. This causes decalcification and scorbutic gums. The British slang term "Limey" comes from the fact that the British Royal Navy was made to drink lime juice to prevent scury. The Royal Navy was almost wiped out by an epidemic of Scurvy.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Two Jews walked into a bar. Then bought it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

*knock knock* Who's there? ...Who's there?... *opens door to find a dead baby on the front door step*

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know either, i'm just wondering why a chicken is trying to cross the road!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why was the boy sad The boy wanted a puppy for his Birthday So his parents got him a Toy dog Later that year he was found dead with the Toy Dog shoved down his mouth gagging him.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did one sausage say to the other? Nothing. Sausages don't talk...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many blind men does it take to change a light bulb? None. They are blind and do not care if it is light or dark in their surroundings.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why cant a black person read? Because there is nothing to read...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did one lady say to another lady we are both ladies

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Question: So, what do you get if you put a live dog, a dead cat, some sugarcubes, and your sisters panties (HORMONES OKAY? EVERYBODY KNOWS HORMONES EQUALS SPICE! Or something anyways...) In a blender until its all red and squishy? The hell I know, but put some Redbull in it, and its fucking delicious!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Me: What day is it? Rebecca Black: Tuesday

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Whites black white and red all over? The nazi flag.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Pants and God shorts: God: Jews ur my people nao! Jews: Yay we are Gods chosen people! Riches and gRape awaits us! World domination next! God: Well, not quite what I meant but, err... Close enough? Jews: YAY! Moral: So much for "the chosen ones" :(

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the student cry when he got an F on the test? because his dad beats him.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's worst than a holocaust 2 holocaust's

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Yo mama's so ugly, She cured cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a nutcracker and a can of tomato soup? Oh... I don't know, I was asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What is the difference between a white mans penis and a black mans penis? It doesn't matter, phallic size isn't everything its what you do that defies you.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops