- Anti Joke

One day a married couple have a conversation. The husband says, "Make me a sandwich." The wife says, "Okay, what do you want on it?"

What's worse than taking a bite in an apple and finding a worm in it? Taking a bite and finding half a worm.

It's about 3 days from Mother's Day. What do you get her? Nothing. Nothing is a very powerful thing. hehe thats what she said.

A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

Why was the dog hairless? I lied, it was a pig.

Yo momma is so fat tat people yell TAXI, TAXI when she wears yellow.

Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead

God has put a gate keeper at a gate in heaven to listen to how everyone has died. The first guy comes and says, "I thought my wife was cheating on me so when i came home I see this man hanging off my balcony, I thought he was the man cheating with my wife, so I then push him off, but he was still alive, so I threw a refrigerator onto him, that killed him, but I felt so guilty I soon commited suicide" The gates man said, "Wow thats terrible come in." Then the next guy come and he says how he died, "Well you see I was just oiling myself up for my workout, but I slipped, and fell off my 5th story balcony, and landed in some guys 3rd floor balcony I was hanging off the ledge, and a guy came I thought he was going to help me, but instead he pushed me of and threw a refrigerator on me." The guard let him in, and a third guy came. The Guard said,"Man its going to be hard to beat those guys their just sad. Ok how did you die?" The third man said, "Picture this I'm trapped in a refrigerator...

Why shouldn't you worry about having a baby? Because with all these jokes, babies aren't even going to be around anymore. "What's funnier than a dead baby?" "A dead baby in a clown costume"

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

Knock knock. Who's there? Gestapo. Gestapo who? Your husband is dead.

did Michael Jackson touch children ? yes of course. otherwise he would have been an absolutely terrible father

What do you call a man in a pool with no arms and legs? Bob

A donkey looks at a goat. The goat walks away.

Q: What's worse? Inhaling fly spray or deodorant? A: The Holocaust

Whats worse then finding a winning lottery ticket? Probably Everything

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

One day a married couple have a conversation. The husband says, "Make me a sandwich." The wife says, "Okay, what do you want on it?"

I have a dig bick . . . . . You have a dirty mind.

Nowadays, aviation is the most secure means of conveyance in the world, but paragliding is not.

Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

Why was the little boy cold? Cause he was traped In a fridge

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr.dre