If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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Hi! This is Ms.McGruder you two boys in my office at 3:00 p.m. today

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Stop making 9/11 jokes their just plane unfunny

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Q-What do you call a woman in the kitchen? A- A woman making me a damn sammich thats what.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

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Why are lawers are so scared of Jerry bryant? Because he bites

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me to.

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Four turtles once fell into nuclear waste. They remained unnoticed and later died from exposure to radiation.

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

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-What did the policeman say to the boy? -Hello.

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If 1+1=2 why does 2+2 not equal 3?

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What do you call a cat with no tail? A Manx cat

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Jokes are dumb. Stories are better. Did you ever hear the story of the blind man who walked into the fish market and said, "Evenin' ladies!"?

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Guy One: Guess what? Guy Two: What? Guy One: I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

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Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? woof.

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Why did the middle-eastern man fly his plane into the Empire State Building? Because he was a bad pilot with an interest in American architecture.

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Q: what's blue and kills you when it falls from the sky? A: a whale no shit

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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