why didn't the Asian ask for a calculator cause he was doing the dishes and a calculator seemed inappropriate

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Both your parents are dead John.

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What do you say when you see your tv floating at night? Drop it, nigga!!

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Dude, you were so drunk last night that you got in a terrible car accident, and now you are paralyzed from the waste down for life.

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Did you hear about the guy with no legs? He had them blown off by a tank shell in Afganistan.

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Q.what is worse than finding a worm in your apple? A.finding two worms.

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what's worse than me fucking your mom she enjoyed it

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Knock knock! Who's there? ADHD ADHD wh-? SQUIRREL!

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how big is a black mans penis? idk ask his wife

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How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

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A gay man walks into a pregnant woman

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Q: what did one guy say to another guy? A: I don't know!

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What do you call a Ku Klux Klan member who has been set on fire? Burnt Marshmallow.

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Whats the difference between a fish and whale? Ones bigger than the other.

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why did the dog eat its breakfast of meat because he was hungry

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farm he was from was near a road. There was a hole in the fence and the chicken got out. He then started wandering and happened to cross the road.

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt, its just a myth

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Easy, you get a phone with a recorder that rather than playing a "please leave a message after the tone", plays the same tune as if the phone was still not picked up. Now tell me here and now, because I wont waste more time on you, what part did you play in this? Jenny Chatterton? Another one of your pseudonyms? What the fuck did you think would happen? You live in the Uk, london, so, tell me everything, or I will share every single detail here.

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God has put a gate keeper at a gate in heaven to listen to how everyone has died. The first guy comes and says, "I thought my wife was cheating on me so when i came home I see this man hanging off my balcony, I thought he was the man cheating with my wife, so I then push him off, but he was still alive, so I threw a refrigerator onto him, that killed him, but I felt so guilty I soon commited suicide" The gates man said, "Wow thats terrible come in." Then the next guy come and he says how he died, "Well you see I was just oiling myself up for my workout, but I slipped, and fell off my 5th story balcony, and landed in some guys 3rd floor balcony I was hanging off the ledge, and a guy came I thought he was going to help me, but instead he pushed me of and threw a refrigerator on me." The guard let him in, and a third guy came. The Guard said,"Man its going to be hard to beat those guys their just sad. Ok how did you die?" The third man said, "Picture this I'm trapped in a refrigerator...

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Q: What did ine sweaty arab man say to the other sweaty arab man? A: "I'm sweaty"

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Your momma's so stupid that she might not have graduated from high school, ceasing her ability to have an educated job. Now, she makes minimum wage and can barely feed her son.

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"The Civil War wasn't won in a day, it was won in a lifetime." -Marc Cruz

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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