I have a meeting with a man about a horse. I have a chance to win the triple crown. Barboro is gonna do awesome. Oh wait he is dead.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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why did corey cross the road? the green man flashed.

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Why was the homeless man lying on the floor? Because he was dead

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Want to hear a funny joke? Me too.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.

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Doctor! Doctor! There is a fly in my soup! Moral: Huh?

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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Yo mamma is so fat that she is likely to consume large amounts of food regularly.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

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What is rectangular, white and has two wheels? A limo getting its wheels replaced.

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Q: What is worse than a dead baby in a trashcan? A: A dead baby in 10 trashcans.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Knock, Knock... Who's there? Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

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How many women does it take to changed a light bulb? 12. 11 to form a committee and 1 to make her boyfriend do it.

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A mother with a bum hip and her son go to walk up a set of stairs in the mall. The floor was slippery because the janitor just mopped the floor. They decide to take the elevator instead.

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The Pope, a Rabi and an Islamic religious leader go into a room and come out with what? A new understanding of each others cultures.

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What's worse then having your wife leaving you? Taking the kids with her.

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A duck walks into a bar.... Duck: Can I have a glass of water? Bartender: How would you like to pay for it? Duck: Put it on my bill

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What do Hitler and Jesus have in common? Facial hair.

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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What is a long boring story that no one will ever want to read? the life of Sarah Palin.

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A chicken decides to cross a road. Unfortunately it gets ran over and does. The end.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops