Do you like apples? Yes

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Water? I hardly know her.

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What did the murderer do to the dentist? Nothing, the murderer has served his time and is clean. But he did get his teeth cleaned.

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What do you call a dog riding a bicycle? An talented dog.

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what did one mute say to the other? Nothing.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it lacked the requisite musculature to facilitate locomotion

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what is the difference between a boy scout and a jew? boy scouts come back from camp.

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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Studies show that 95% of house fires are caused by fire.

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You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

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how do you crash a party? You dont because that would be rude.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have aides egg

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What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they

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Y did the chicken cross the rode to/ get away from KFC

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what do you call a black man on the moon? an astronaut.

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What liquid is white and sticky and annoying to get on your hand? Glue.

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Why did Darren Wilson quick scope Michael Brown? Because he was being attacked, racism is wrong

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A black man offers to take a girl home from the nightclub. As they're sitting in the car, she curiously asks him ''So tell me it's true what they say about black man''. The man sighs and explains: ''Well many people think that we stab, shoot and steal things. Another stereotype that is launched at us is that we have large penises. I however do not steal. My penis is also quite small. After this conversation the girl was driven home safely, and was now convinced that stereotypes are lies.

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Wanna hear a joke? YEAH! Hold on. Okay, tell me when to let go.

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What is better then winning the special olympics? Not being retarded

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Two fish are in a tank. One asks the other, "How do you drive this thing?"

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Instead of throwing out his garbage, a young boy decided to play a prank on some passersby and left a banana peel on the sidewalk. moments later an elderly woman walked past and slipped on the banana, falling backwards and smashing her head. The young man watched from the bushes as paramedics shook their heads and placed a now lifeless body in a body bag and took it away. The young boy, startled and shocked at what he just saw, tried to run away, but slipped on his own banana peel, falling backwards onto the pavement. The young boy was lucky and survived, but later had to go to therapy for many years to come, the thought of his prank gone wrong torturing him until he took his own life. What is the moral of the story? Do not litter, ALWAYS throw out your garbage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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