Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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What is a haiku? Are they hard to come up with? Obviously not.

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Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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Q:Whats funnier than 24? A: 25.

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Q. what is black ans white and red all over A. a shot to death zebra

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What can hitler cook well Steak

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What's worse then 2 dead monkeys? 3 dead monkeys!

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A man walks into a bar. He suffered concussions later that night.

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Knock, knock who's there? Not your Dad, because he left and created a better family.

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What is the biggest lie in everyone's childhood? "School lunch food is actually good."

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What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

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Why did susie fall off the swing? Because an arrow penetrated her head.

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Ben: do you want to hear a joke. jack: yh go on then, i bet its funny. Ben: Your future.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Nothing, shit went down so bad.

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Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Doesn't matter get in the van.

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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How did the baby cross the ocean? It was stapled to a whale.

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They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

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Steve is 12. He has a friend named Gary. Later in his life steve will realize that he is gay and will fall for a man also named Gary. Gary and steve will be together forever. Until steves friend gary goes insane because this man has stollen his name and go and kill the other gary. The end.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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